An ode to my soul-friend…

Posted: August 18, 2009 in My other life
When I first met you in the coolness of that September afternoon, I thought to myself “He’s hot!” and for days I dreamt of your face and the sound of your voice. And then you spoke to me and I died and woke up in heaven floating with you besides me. You got me all jellied up inside and for the days that followed I stalked you literally; calculating my steps to coincide with yours and then saying hi! feigning surprise at how many times we met in one day; offering that surely it must mean something. You smiled at me and wished me a great day. I ran to the nearest washroom, looked at myself in the mirror and gave my reflection a hi-5. Such were the silly things you made me do.

A couple of weeks of “accidentally” bumping into each other later, we had our very first meaningful conversation. I knew it by heart, replayed it in my head a trillion times. And then we were friends, really good friends, best friends…
You were reliable, had by best interests at heart, called almost every day, we laughed and hang out, talked about nothing and everything, you shared your fears with me, I told you of my childhood dreams, you drove me nuts, we fought, we apologized and the laughter was renewed…and then I fell for you…hard…

Thoughts of you made my head reel; I traded in my sense of pride and common sense for a thousand moments of unabashed shamelessness where I’d perchance meet you, strike a conversation and fight to make it last if only a second longer, call you up just to say nothing, jam your phone with texts… You seemed unruffled by this display of affection; in fact you enjoyed it which made me even more excited.
Months grew into years and I bridled these emotions, hoping you’d be the first to say you loved me too and we would face the world together, get married, live in a house with a white picket fence and watch our chubby kids grow…and then you shocked me…u got yourself a girlfriend! Behind my back! I thought the feeling was mutual! You traitor! I seethed with rage and avoided you for days.

Then it dawned on me, I was just in love with the idea of you, not with you. You had been the most influential person in my life at that time; I hung on to your every word like it was my ticket to true happiness, you taught me a lot, gave me a peek into the brain of a normal male_something I’ll be forever grateful for. You helped me transform from an awkwardly shy girl into a confident woman. You gave me the gift of friendship, pure and selfless; the kind that does not demand anything. Every laughing moment unlocked the trust in me and in others; every hug, a confirmation of how beautiful I was. You helped me get over my obsession of the love I thought I had for you and reminded me that there was one out there; patiently waiting for this beautiful intelligent girl you had the privilege of meeting first and who’d blossomed before your eyes into a gem.

Not everyone can say that about their friends. In this lifetime, I couldn’t wish for more. You gave me more than I asked for and I can only hope that I am to you everything you wanted in a friend. Promise me that even in death we shall forever be friends, to support each other through thick and thin, to think of each other at least once in twenty four hours, to defend our friendship in the event that our better halves question it, to never forget what we are about and where we’ve come from, that you’ll name your daughter after me and I’ll give my son your name such that the legacy continues…

You are my best friend and I love you. Not the-I-love-u-and-I-want-to-marry-you kind of love. The kind that does not border on the physical, the kind that’s based on true friendship, the kind that you carry with you always and whoever you wind up going out with understands and respects it as just that, pure friendship.


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