Perfectly Hu-woman!

Posted: May 13, 2011 in Endless rants

For just two seconds, I want to make it about me. Once in a while I like to give myself permission to break down. Yes. This always-composed woman, cavorting everywhere she goes would like to drag her feet, punch walls with her bare fists, go off at anybody and anything for nothing, blame the stars for being misaligned, bawl her eyes out for hours, shove ice-cream down her throat and just be. Yes. I like to make it about me once in a while. *cue the song ‘Unappreciated’ here:-)*

Lately I’ve been in a funk and what bothers me more than the problem itself is the fact that I can’t help the situation. Helplessness paralyzes you. It drains every joule of energy in your system and leaves you at the mercies of your own corrupted thoughts. It leads you into contemplating giving up and then quickly jostling you back to your senses only to let you drop hard, into a dark cold abyss. And as your now limp body crumples into a heap you let go…of all resolves to fight, all stubbornness, defiance…all hope.

But it is in that moment of despair, of utter defenselessness that you remember what you’re about. You remember that which stirred a passion in you to live once upon a time. In that low point you muster the courage to move, if only just an inch, towards hope. And suddenly everything becomes clearer. Suddenly the dark clouds are transformed into lessons; lessons in patience, in resilience, in forgiving…And you get up, dust yourself off and come out into the world; a world ready to judge your every move, to banish your dreams as child’s play, to ridicule your intent to change the world, to mock you, to remind you that you have no money or influence…such is the battle we face from time to time. Will you sit back and let them win? Or will you come out guns blazing and show them who’s boss? Will you let your dream go down the drain or will you nurture them into the beautiful reality you so seek? Playing victim is tiring. Blaming others is overrated .So I’m taking control for the umpteenth time; reminding myself that this too shall pass. The sun is gonna shine brighter tomorrow and I will prance around like the ballerina I secretly wish I was.

Here’s to forgiveness, rekindled dreams, reawakened passions, hope for the future and a spirit that doesn’t die easy….Cheers!

  1. Minah says:

    tiz amazing how many times i have given myself this talk… but then…if we don’t encourage ourselves, who’s gonna do it for us? good piece G.

  2. gphilly says:

    Thanks Minah! I know what you mean. It takes writing it down and reading it back to myself to convince myself I’ve grasped it.:-)

  3. Mark K says:

    Great stuff G. Your descriptions are simply unmatched.

  4. stella22 says:

    Come out guns blazing-I like that! And it’s more you than sitting helplessly. Hope you’ve gotten out of your funk now 🙂

  5. Ed says:

    Sigh, well said. Very well said…and I totally feel you. A good long scream in an open, empty space should be a good release once in a while 🙂

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